I WAS going to write about something… like… along the lines of, “why people should try to learn new things.” It was going to be a good read, to be honest. But, honestly… I wasn’t being honest with myself. I guess, I wanted to write something happy about my life. I’m trying to learn how to sing and sing well. I’ve always wanted to do that sooooooo… now I am! However, I was pushing it. I was writing these reasons on why people should learn a new skill and it almost sounded like I was force feeding inspiration; I only felt that way because I was forcing myself to write about such a wonderful topic. Yeah…. I never wanna do that.
Since being asked to be a guest blogger here on this dope up-and-coming blog site, it kinda got into my head… just a lil bit. Writing on here means people will read my words and hopefully gain inspiration from it. To be honest, I don’t care if you do. You’ll get inspiration when you do. I’m just here to write my thoughts down. It’s like my way to inspire; I won’t force you to make meaning of my words if you don’t want to and if you do, then that’s fucking awesome.
I mean, I write. I write because I have something to say. I write because I want people to glance at my thoughts. I write because I feel like my thoughts might spark something within someone’s mind. I rant and give “advice” on Facebook; I do it on Tumblr at times. I write when my passion is heated. I guess I just want to let you all know that each time I write something on here… that… it’ll be honest and genuine… and not forced.
Haha. I’ve actually been writing since I was 14 or 16, I don’t remember. I started writing poems first. That was the easiest thing. Not that writing poems is easy, but, the poems that I were making were easy poems to write. Then it started growing to more just writing about my insights and writing about the world around me. I wish I kept my old tumblr, not to use it again, just to reread some of my old stuff. Wow… four paragraphs in and you’re probably wondering, “What the fuck is he trying to tell me?” I really don’t know. You tell me. Lol. No, I’m just kidding.
As far as I can remember, I’ve always been very into my thoughts. As a kid, I’ve always let my thoughts take me over, maybe that’s part of the reason why I have such anxiety. You know it. Like, your thoughts consume you kinda thing. I’ve literally just recently tried to talk to my thoughts back. Maybe the reason why my thoughts gave me anxiety is because I didn’t give them any attention. Always pushing them down… scared of them… scared of finding out some deep, dark shit I’ve been suppressing all my life. I know now that it’s just a part of me. My subconscious has been neglected by me and as I write this entry I’m finding more and more about myself. Isn’t that weird? I’m learning something about myself while you read this.
Just like everything else that I do, I write because it’s a medium for my expression. I dance. I create music. I play my instruments. I sing to let my soul talk. I do all these things because I have something to say. Writing helps me put my thoughts into words. That’s why I don’t really write so proper. The grammar and punctuation can be fixed, but, I don’t write in a professional tone. It’ll only rob me of honesty. I write in a conversational tone because what’s more natural than just talking how you talk? Whether this goes on to be read by the president or a fourteen year old, I will write like this because I want you to know more about me and not because I’m trying to give you insight.
Are you craving for a takeaway? Did you want something from me? I mean, yeah sure… I really want you to express. Express your habits. Express your thoughts. Express yourself (Diplo starts playing). Don’t be scared to let the world know your thoughts. Your mind is so delicately powerful. Let be known. Let yourself be known. If you don’t think you have something to say, don’t force it. Let yourself have an art. It’s a good way to keep sane. Shit, even dry-walling can be your art if you wanted it to be.
Find an art. Let the first ticket to your exhibit be yourself so you can really learn more about yourself. Art to show-off isn’t honest. Your first goal in art shouldn’t be fame. If you make art for people to gawk at you over, like, seriously, fuck you. That’s not honest, and you’re not being honest to yourself. Expressing yourself is a way to really dig onto your subconscious. It’s a way to find those demons and fight them… or accept them. It’s a way for you to be you. Don’t let the shit of the world make you think that being you isn’t marketable. True art makes people gravitate towards it. I write and people read it because I’m trying my best to be honest with myself. No one’s perfect. Yes you’re going to want to show yourself off, that’s fine, but, don’t let it be your main goal. Learn…. Learn about yourself. It’ll keep you sane. It’ll keep you growing.
I write…. And I do other things because I think they’re cool… and it does make me more interesting. However, I really do the things that I do because it’s a fit for me and my psyche. I love bartending because I love talking to people and being knowledgeable about liquors. I DJ/produce because I love making music and making crowds go fucking nuts at a party. I dance because it helps my body speak and girls think it’s pretty hot. I’m learning to sing because that’s my soul’s voice and I want people to love the sound of my voice. Do you see what I’m doing here? I do what I do because it’s a part of me and it gives me satisfaction.
I write… I write because I feel like my words have substance and that the world should know more about me. I strive to inspire people through my actions. My words strive to inspire myself. I write so I could talk to myself. I’m trying to love myself and seeing myself write this… I love myself a little bit more.